Dilbert’s Revenge

So you may think that IT is a serious business, but even us tech nerds have a Dilbert-like light side.

In my former role at a small Bank’s IT department we had an intense dislike of the overuse of Business jargon. If someone told us they were “going to pick the low hanging fruit” or find “potential synergies” they were immediately scorned by the more straight-shooting guys in the department. Company-wide emails were scanned for any sign of what we described as ‘wank-words’ – basically words used to generalise a situation and hide how little a business person actually knew about awhat they were discussing. The all-time favourite in bullshit bingo was if someone described a situation as “win-win” and there were situations where multiple wank-words were chained together such as “this will make it a win-win strategy and create synergies for all potential stakeholders”.

You can’t imagine the loss of credibility that was imparted on anyone who uttered a sentence such as this, chaining not two but four high quality wank-words into the same breath- “win-win”, “strategy”, “synergies” and “stakeholders”.

(I’ve never really worked out what the word stakeholders actually means; it seems to be the correct answer to every important Business question however. If you know the meaning, please whack it in the comments.)

If someone visiting the department used a wank-word, all us tech guys looked at each other and smirked, and it led to harsh discussion of the visitor’s bona-fides once they left earshot. So next time you visit your Company’s IT section, make sure you don’t try to impress them with your well versed business language- you’ll be the source of endless fun-poking behind your back.

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Hey! I’m Sam from THIRSTYiT, doing Websites | Social Media | Search Engine Optimisation | Online Marketing | Digital Managememt.

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